Every time I think about what our society has become, I get this image in my head of thousands of gremlins loose in the studio and destroying everything. Remember that movie, “Gremlins”? They were cute little cuddly things – like little living stuffed animals – (I’m thinking they were called mugwai’s – could be a mixed memory lol) and you weren’t supposed to get them wet, and you were NEVER supposed to feed them after midnight. Because if you did, they would start hatching these evil little gremlins who just wrought havoc on everything they could get their hands on. That’s what feminism reminds me of.
Back in the day, men and women had clear roles, which were suited to our biology. Then feminism came along, and convinced us all that we were being oppressed, and it was up to us to kick our men in the balls and start running things our way. Only problem is, we’re built to be nurturers. That’s not to say women can’t accomplish anything – quite the contrary, women have accomplished great things throughout history. Throughout history = before feminism.
But, by and large, our biology dictates that we have babies and raise them and keep hearth and home. Sorry, ladies, it’s true.
Now we act the way we are told we are supposed to act, and feel the way we are told we are supposed to feel. It’s not that we aren’t listening to our inner woman anymore – we aren’t even aware she’s in there. But she is. And she’s trying to get out. That’s why modern women are so conflicted and hateful and controlling and, most of all, unhappy and dissatisfied. And all of that bad feeling, coupled with the constant bombardment of messages that men are evil, raping, child-molesting oppressors, and that women are helpless victims on the one hand, and strong, independent $#@-kickers on the other, throws the whole thing out of balance.
We’re not oppressed and kept out of the upper echelons of power. I’m gonna let you in on a little secret. You know why we don’t have more women ceo’s and movie moguls and presidents? The answer is simple. most women do not want those things! That’s right. I said it. Let me add, for emphasis, most women do not want those things. Don’t get me wrong. It’s not that women can’t run Fortune 500 companies, or countries, for that matter. Any fool can learn a skill set. It’s that our biology doesn’t give us the necessary drive. In order to achieve those positions, and hold on to them, you have to be willing to dedicate your life to the purpose.
Think about what that means. Working 100 hours a week. Never seeing your home, much less your family. No time to date. Having your meals delivered to the office. Taking on whatever project has the current priority, whether it’s a (*&^ job or not. Never allowing yourself any real friendships, because everything has to be expendable to the goal. Never getting distracted by little things like having a baby, and a nest. It means dedicating your life to your carrer. There aren’t many women who have that kind of driving personal ambition.
“But”, you say, “what about women doctors and lawyers and politicians? Don’t those careers take an enormous amount of drive to achieve?” Yes, of course they do. But generally people who go into those fields do it because they love it. And of all those women doctors and lawyers and politicians, how many are willing to do what it takes to become the head administrator of the hospital or a senior partner in the firm or the governor of a state? I say not that many. It’s in the biology. If they go after those things, chances are, they won’t have a family. Or the family they have will be strangers to them.
Let me tell you a story about why I know this is true. I got married when I was 22. On my 25th birthday, I remember walking through downtown Portland, on my way to catch the max for my ride home. And it hit me. I literally stopped in my tracks. “Oh my god. I wanted to have 3 kids by the time I was 30, and I just turned 25.” And my life became about getting a job that had medical benefits, then passing my trial service and working long enough so I could be sure the benefits would kick in, then getting off the pill, then systematically having sex with my husband exactly every other night so I would have the best chance of conceiving. I was still 25 when we got pregnant. We waited 4 years between children, and after our second child was born, we opened a daycare so someone else wouldn’t be raising our children. My husband ran it – because I still had that job with the benefits. After that experience, we decided 2 children were enough! But that’s a different story : ) My point is, that’s what women are about. Even lesbians want children.
“But”, you say, “there are women who do want those things, who have that kind of ambition. We have women hospital administrators, and law firm partners, and governors. There are women who don’t want children, who don’t even like them.” Once again, this is true. But I say these are a minority of women. And of the women who do have this drive, I say the majority of them are doing it because they think that is what they are supposed to do, as “strong, independent women”. They’re fighting that inner woman tooth and nail.And the more they fight, the less content and at peace with themselves they are.
Remember what I said earlier? “That’s why modern women are so conflicted and hateful and controlling and, most of all, unhappy and dissatisfied.” If someone is dissatisfied in themselves, how can they possibly have anything to give to their loved ones? What they bring to a marriage is unbalanced, and will only work if they partner with someone equally as unbalanced – to the other side. And the unbalanced gander is just as unhappy as the unbalanced goose. So they live their lives being miserable, and blaming each other, and not understanding why. Because that’s what they were told they were supposed to do.
Feminism hurts us all.
